Lost Voices
by allofthebowtiesandscarves
Summary: "Make one more sound and you'll regret it." Kurt had been broken down so many times before and now he knew he could never be fixed anymore.
1. Preview

_AN: This is a little preview to my new fic "Lost Voices". Let me know what you think of it? :)_

* * *

He was scared to death. Never did he think that it would come to this.

He ran as fast as his legs could carry him and even that didn't seem fast enough. He could barely see through the tears that were burning in his eyes but he had to get home, where he'd be safe.

They had taken him by surprise in one of the alleys close to school. They held him down and lifted Kurt's sweater while the leader of the group of jocks pressed a hand firmly to Kurt's mouth, muting any sound that fell from his lips. He had tried to scream when he saw the other four jocks take out their pocket knives and flick them open but to no avail. He had squeezed his eyes shut and tried to scream again when he felt the sharp blades cut through his skin. Then Kurt felt the hot breath of the jock who had his hand clamped over his mouth and then a whisper: 'Make one more sound and you'll regret it.'

And right there, at that moment, Kurt wished they had cut his wrists too so it'd be over.

He finally got home after what seemed like ages. He ran through the door and was glad when his father wasn't there to call out for him because that was the last thing he wanted. He made his way down the stairs before he let himself fall onto his bed, crying and wincing at the sharp pain from the cuts that were scattered all over his body.

When the sobs had died down and there were barely anymore tears to cry, he slowly got up from his bed and stood in front of the mirror. He was disgusted by what he saw. His hair was all messed up, his white cashmere sweater was drenched in his blood, his eyes were red and bloodshot from the crying and when he lifted his sweater he could see the biggest cut on his chest that was deep enough to hurt but not deep enough to cause any damage to his ribs or lungs and he could see some more cuts that were scattered all over his chest. It was only then he noticed that the word "fag" was carved into him right above his heart and he cried again.

_Make one more sound and you'll regret it._

He had been broken down so many times before and now he knew he could never be fixed anymore.


	2. Chapter 1

**AN: **Thank you all for the lovely reviews and the follows! :D Keep 'em coming! :)

* * *

It was Kurt's first day at Dalton. He was met by the same navy uniforms with red piping as the one he wore when he walked through the door. He heard happy chatter and he saw people laughing around him and then he lowered his head to look down at the tiled floor, knowing he'd never be one of those people.

He arrived in algebra class with just a few minutes to spare and there were a lot of seats already taken but there was still one table by the window that wasn't taken yet. He heard some voices asking 'Who is that? Is he new? Have you seen him before?' while he made a beeline to the table and took his seat.

Then he heard another, a louder, voice saying 'Oh thanks for holding a spot for me, Wes, where am I going to sit now?' followed by an exasperated sigh. Not much later Kurt heard the same voice right next to him as he ruffled through his messenger bag. 'Excuse me, is this seat taken?'

Kurt was dumbfounded for a moment when he looked up. The boy who stood next to his table was beautiful, looking down at him with bright hazel-brown eyes that twinkled in the sunlight. His black hair was gelled down with a copious amount of hairgel and his lips formed a blinding smile.

'The seat next to you, is it taken?' the boy asked again and that was when Kurt realized that he had to respond somehow. Make one more sound and you'll regret it. He opened and closed his mouth a couple of times before he shook his head and smiled back at the guy.

'Oh great,' the guy said, sitting down next to Kurt, 'Because, I saw you sitting here by yourself and no one deserves to sit alone by himself on the first day of school.' The boy started ruffling through his bag himself and kept on talking. 'Oh, and I don't believe I know you already. I'm Blaine. Blaine Anderson.'

Kurt smiled before ducking his head to look down at his lap. He heard the ruffling sound next to him come to a stop and he could almost feel Blaine's eyes on him.

'Everything alright?' Blaine asked, glancing at the name that was written at the top of Kurt's notebook, 'Kurt?'

Kurt looked at Blaine when he heard his name being called. It didn't happen very often that someone used his first name in public. He was used to the names Hummel, Fairy, Glitter-nymph, Babyface, Gay-face… He had only heard his family, some teachers and some friends call him by his first name but this, this was different. Blaine made his name sound beautiful instead of a curse. He nodded.

'Are you sure? You haven't said anything since I came to sit here… You sure you don't mind me sitting here?'

This time Kurt shook his head and saw Blaine furrow his brows for a moment. He took his brand new notebook and flipped it open onto the first page before writing something down.

_I'm perfectly fine and yes, I'm sure I don't mind you sitting here. Nice to meet you, Blaine and as you already know, my name's Kurt. Kurt Hummel._

'Why- why are you writing all of this down?' Blaine asked with a chuckle after reading Kurt's written words, confusion clear in his eyes.

Kurt sighed softly and clasped his hands together in his lap, ignoring Blaine's question and he looked at the blackboard in the front of the class instead.

'Oh,' Blaine breathed out, eyebrows raising in surprise and he continued in a whisper, 'You… You're mute?' Kurt didn't react and Blaine tore his gaze away from him right at the moment the teacher came in and started his class.

Blaine couldn't help throwing a few glances in Kurt's direction during class. Kurt was absolutely stunning and much different than all the other boys Blaine had ever dated and he was an expert in that since he had dated a lot of boys.

Maybe it was the mystery behind him or his incredibly soft looking chestnut brown hair that was perfectly coiffed but something drew him towards Kurt and whenever Kurt caught him glancing, a blush crept up on both their faces and they both looked away to focus on their textbooks.

'I'm so sorry I said that,' Blaine blurted as soon as the bell rang. He saw Kurt packing his bag and he knew it would only take seconds before he would leave. 'I shouldn't have pointed it out. Forgive me, please?'

Kurt smiled at Blaine and nodded, letting Blaine know he accepted his apology before leaving the room.

When Kurt walked through the halls he knew he should be afraid of the butterflies he felt in his stomach after knowing Blaine for only an hour but strangely enough, he wasn't.

* * *

Sometimes Blaine asked the wrong questions and he knew that. Just like when he had asked his mom what happened to her and dad after Blaine came out of the closet and his mom had answered "He left because of you, my dear. He told me he couldn't handle the troubles that come with a gay child".

But his mom could handle the troubles that came with him and he was ever so grateful for it. She had helped taking care of the wounds the bullies gave him and she still loved Blaine nevertheless.

He'd done the same with Kurt. Sure, Kurt had forgiven him but then why did he still feel so bad? When Blaine left the classroom himself, he could only see a sea of navy blue with red piping but not the head of perfectly coiffed chestnut hair he was looking for.

* * *

It was around seven o'clock when Blaine made his way to his dorm after he went to get some pizza for dinner. He had thought about Kurt all day, even during Warbler practice that almost always did a good job at distracting him from his thoughts and he had almost forgotten about his new roommate until he saw the door to his dorm standing wide open and some musical song rang through the room.

He tentatively walked in and was surprised to see who was laying on the bed that had been untouched for two whole months, flipping through a Vogue magazine. 'Kurt?'

Kurt looked up, eyes wide as dinner plates as he saw Blaine close the door behind him. He grabbed his iPod and paused the soundtrack of Wicked he had on repeat.

'You're my new roommate?' Blaine asked, walking further into the room with a smile.

Kurt nodded, biting his lip nervously while looking at Blaine for a few moments.

'Kurt, I know that I probably hit a sensitive spot this morning and I know that you forgave me but I want you to know that I still am really sorry,' Blaine stepped forward and sat down on the edge of the bed, the pizza box still in his hands, 'You-you don't mind being my roommate, do you? Because I totally get it if you do.'

Kurt shook his head, grabbing his notebook from his bag before he quickly started to write.

_Please, don't feel sorry about this morning anymore. It's okay, I swear and I'd love to be your roommate... _

'I have the feeling that there's a "but" coming,' Blaine said.

_But…_

_ I'm afraid you'll get bored of me after a while… _

_Because I'm so quiet._

'Never!' Blaine quickly said, noticing Kurt's face falling, 'You might be mute but you're not boring. It'll take some time to get used to it but I'm sure we're going to be best friends eventually.'

_You're just saying that to cheer me up._

Blaine sighed and snatched the notebook and pen from Kurt's hands who watched him with wide eyes and he wrote his own message down.

_**I'm not, Kurt! I mean what I say and this is my way of showing that because I think this is the only way you'll understand. I want to help you and I want to be your friend.**_

Kurt looked up at Blaine after reading his message.

_Are you sure you want to help me?_

'Yes,' Blaine smiled, 'and don't be afraid to ask me anything if you need it. I'm here for you, even if you just need a hug or something.'

Blaine watched the corners of Kurt's mouth twitch up into a smile and then Kurt started writing a note again.

_You brought pizza?_

'I, uh, yeah. I did. It's most likely cold by now but I figured we could eat together?' Blaine asked, 'I got pepperoni, I hope you like that.'

_It's perfect_ Kurt wrote and grabbed a slice of pizza when Blaine opened the box.

'So, you like Vogue huh?' Blaine asked with a mouth full, pointing at the magazine, 'Me, not so much, but I like watching football though. Not because I'm sportive or anything but the boys are so hot when they're all sweaty and when their shirts stick to their bodies.'

Kurt perked up slightly at hearing that Blaine likes boys but scrunched his nose at the thought of sweat and football. Blaine chuckled: 'Don't worry, also non-sweaty boys are attractive to me too.'

That made a spark of hope ignite in Kurt. He took a bite of his pizza and wondered if he could make a chance with Blaine but then pushed those thoughts away because who'd like a boyfriend who can't even say "I love you" or "I love you too" properly?

'How was the rest of your day? I haven't seen you since algebra, not even during lunch,' Blaine questioned after taking another bite.

Kurt swallowed and licked his fingers before he opened his notebook again and wrote down: _Same as always. I felt like a ghost the entire time so it's better that I spend my lunches alone so that I bother no one._

Blaine shook his head, swallowed and tsked. 'Really? Okay, from now on, you will sit with me. No buts, no maybes, you are sitting with me and the Warblers at our table.'

_Who are the warblers?_ Kurt wrote down with a curious look in his eyes.

Blaine gasped comically loud and his eyebrows shot up in surprise. 'You don't…?' he stammered, 'You don't know the Warblers?'

Kurt shook his head but he started smiling as Blaine dropped his slice of pizza back into the box and excitedly crossed his legs like a little kid getting ready for story-time.

'The Warblers are the showchoir from Dalton but we're more than that. We are friends who have a karaoke night three times a week but then without the karaoke machine. I'm in it and I'm their Tenor voice and their lead vocalist. We do everything acapella and now we're currently practicing for Nationals. Pretty cool, huh?'

Kurt nodded excitedly with a smile and a mouth full of pizza. He had loved singing when he was younger and he had seen the show choir from McKinley, the New Directions, perform before. If he hadn't been mute, he would've joined them for sure! But yeah, some things happened.

'Kurt? Are you listening?' Blaine asked and pulled Kurt out of his thoughts.

Kurt blinked a few times before he shook his head, a little ashamed of being caught on daydreaming.

Blaine bounced on the spot with excitement. 'I asked if you wanted to come and watch us practice on Wednesday? I'm sure they won't mind and it would be the perfect opportunity for you to make some new friends since you're new.'

Kurt bit his lip in contemplation and then nodded. Sounds awesome! I loved to sing when I was younger! Blaine squealed in response and grinned widely. God, Kurt wanted to make Blaine smile like that every day.

'You won't regret it, I swear,' Blaine smiled, taking another bite, 'What songs did you used to sing back then? Maybe I can persuade the Warblers to sing one for you.'

_I mostly loved singing show tunes. Wicked, West Side Story… I loved all of it!_ Kurt wrote down in the notebook that was still on his lap.

'Really? I-I'm the same, honestly. You don't know how many times I pretended to be Tony,' Blaine laughed after reading and God, the sound of it made Kurt skip from cloud 9 to cloud 10 and beyond.

_I always pretended to be Maria :D_ Kurt wrote before taking another slice of the cold pepperoni pizza.

Blaine looked at Kurt in confusion. 'Um...' he said after he swallowed.

Kurt smiled at the way Blaine looked at him and wrote down: _I had a pretty high voice, I was a countertenor._

'Oh,' Blaine said, chuckling a bit, 'I thought you meant you pretended to be Maria by wearing dresses and stuff.'

Kurt shrugged. _Well, I did that too... _

'Oh my God, Kurt!' Blaine laughed, 'Really?'

Kurt grinned and ducked his head with a blush on his cheeks. _You could say I was a VERY special kid back in the day._

'I could say that, yes,' Blaine said between fits of laughter.

_Oh shut it, Anderson! :D_

Blaine had dissolved into giggles by now and when those had died down too, he and Kurt continued to eat in silence until the pizza box was empty.

Blaine got up from the bed and threw the pizza box in the trash. He hesitated for a moment before he walked back to Kurt. 'Would you mind telling me about it?' he asked after he sat down again.

Kurt swallowed audibly. _About what?_

'Your muteness. I-I want to understand,' Blaine said.

Kurt hesitated for a moment before nodding once. He started writing sentence after sentence and he started sniffling after a while. Without a word, Blaine shuffled further onto the bed and rested a comforting hand on Kurt's knee. He flashed Kurt a small smile when Kurt looked at him with tear-filled eyes.

'I'm here for you,' Blaine whispered and Kurt nodded before he focused on his notebook again.

It was about ten minutes later that Kurt clicked his pen off and handed Blaine the notebook. Then, he pulled his knees up to his chest and wrapped his arms around them, making himself as small as possible while Blaine started reading.

_It happened 8 years ago when my mother passed away. She had cancer and I still miss her very much. My mom was one of the first and few people who accepted my sexuality. When the kids at school found out I was gay, they started bullying me. At first people just told me that I am worthless, useless and that no one would ever love me. They even told me that I'm the reason my mother died, that I was part of her cancer and I know full well that that's not true but I have been told so many times that I started to believe it! I yelled at those guys, telling them that my mother didn't die because of me but in the end I still believed them. I've cried myself to sleep a lot of times and after a while I would come home with bruises and I'd tell my dad not to worry even though I knew he was worrying himself sick about me. _

_The bullying became even worse as I got older. Throwing me into dumpsters, locking me up in the girls bathroom (they thought I belonged there) et cetera became a daily routine for me. Once, the bullies caught me by surprise and attacked me in the alleyway close to my high school. They carved the word "fag" into my chest so that I'd never forget what I was. The leader of the bullies told me that if I made one more sound I'd regret it. That's the reason I don't speak anymore, I'm too scared to do so._

_I've lost everything because of them: my pride, my dreams, my passion, my friends... Everything was gone after they took my voice. You already know that before the bullying I loved to sing but then people told me that I "sing like a girl" and so I quit and hid in the background. Whenever I said something in class, kids would mock me and laugh at me. I also once dreamt of a big Broadway career and now that's gone too._

_Every doctor my dad took me to told me that I have reactive mutism caused by the bullying but I never told anyone that the jocks had really attacked and 'marked' me. The doctors told me that I need a calm and quiet environment to regain my will to speak again so my dad transferred me to Dalton because this is a zero-tolerance one and so no one can hurt me here. I honestly don't think I'll ever get my voice back but my dad said I should give it a shot so here I am._

_Now you know my full story._

Blaine honestly had tears in his eyes when he looked up to see Kurt with his head resting on top of his knees. He heard quiet sobs and he watched Kurt's shoulders shake with the force of them.

Be like your mother, Blaine. Be. Like. Your. Mother, Blaine told himself.

He reached out and grabbed Kurt's hand, making Kurt raise his head to look at him with a hint of curiosity in his eyes. 'Don't worry, I'll stick by your side. Together we'll get you your voice back,' he told Kurt with a shaky voice, 'I promise you that.'

Kurt nodded shakily and his bottom lip trembled before he broke down into a sobbing mess. Blaine was there in a second, wrapping his arms around Kurt and whispering 'I'm so sorry all of that happened to you' into his ear with a shaky voice.

Blaine held Kurt tight until he stopped crying and pulled out of Blaine's embrace. 'You okay?' he asked Kurt eventually.

Kurt nodded and reached out to touch Blaine's arm._ I would like to be your friend, Blaine, if the offer still stands of course _he wrote down afterwards.

'Of course,' Blaine smiled, 'We're friends.' He yawned and looked at his bed. 'I think I'm gonna go to sleep. Promise me you'll wake me if anything's wrong?'

A single nod from Kurt was Blaine's cue to get up from the bed. He walked over to his own bed and crawled underneath the covers. When he turned onto his side, he saw Kurt had done the same and they just looked at each other for a moment before Blaine reached for the lamp on his nightstand. 'Goodnight, Kurt,' he whispered right before he switched the light off and settled further under the covers. The last thing he saw before he closed his eyes was the smile on Kurt's face before turning the light on his own nightstand off.

It was going to take a while but Kurt was going to be okay and Blaine was going to be there every step of the way.


	3. Chapter 2

'Kurt, can I tell you something? It's sort of huge and since you're my roommate and friend I want you to know first,' Blaine said, walking next to a smiling Kurt. Kurt had been smiling since Blaine took him to Warblers practice and he nodded when he looked at Blaine.

'I have a date,' Blaine smiled back, 'on Saturday. His name's Jeremiah and he works at the GAP so if we get married, I get a fifty percent discount.'

Kurt's smile faltered just a little. He secretly wished he could be the one to go on a date with Blaine and not this Jeremiah-dude.

Blaine opened the door to his and Kurt's dorm and let Kurt enter first before walking in after him.

Kurt plopped down onto his bed and grabbed his notebook to scribble something down as Blaine came to sit down next to him.

_Well? What are you waiting for? Tell me some more about him!_

Blaine perked up with a big grin on his face after reading. 'Oh Kurt, he's amazing! He's tall, he's hot and he has blonde hair. I met him when I was searching for a new shirt a couple of weeks ago. He helped me pick out the perfect color and when I tried it on he told me that it looked cute on me. I swear, my heart was beating so loudly, I was afraid he heard it too. Then we started texting and chatting on Facebook and I… asked him out a week or so ago and he needed some time to think and then yesterday he said yes. We're going to the Lima Bean for coffee and then we're going to the park. It's going to be so romantic.'

_I'm so happy for you!_ Kurt wrote down with a smile.

'I still can't believe that he said yes to me,' Blaine said.

_Of course he said yes to you, Blaine. Anyone who refuses to go on a date with you must be insane, blind, stupid, or all of the above!_

'You really think so?' Blaine asked.

Kurt looked at Blaine before writing down: _I know so._

Blaine smiled and wrapped an arm around Kurt. 'You are an amazing friend, Kurt.'

_How do you know that? We've only been friends for three days. Maybe I'm faking it all and I'm secretly plotting to kill you._

'I just know,' Blaine shrugged, 'and besides, only cats fake a friendship and secretly plot to kill you.'

Kurt smiled at that and after a few minutes of comfortable silence, he wrote down: _I really had a fun time with the Warblers today. I think they liked me. Well, Nick and Jeff certainly did because they taught me how to do that side-step thingy._

'Oh they did. They told me that they'd love to see you back,' Blaine smiled, 'and you could join us in a heartbeat when you get your voice back, that side-step was amazing.'

_You think?_ Kurt wrote.

'Of course,' Blaine exclaimed, 'Your rhythm and coordination were perfect, much better than some of the others'

Kurt shook his head with a smile. _No, silly. Do you really think I could join you… when I get my voice back?_

'Kurt, I promise you that the moment you get your voice back you'll be accepted by the Warblers,' Blaine said, 'they all loved you, so if you want to come and see us practice some more, you're always welcome.'

Kurt grinned. _I'd love to._

'What did you think of the songs? Train and P!nk are pretty fun and up-tempo, right?' Blaine asked.

_You sounded amazing during both songs. They are absolutely perfect to make your audience dance and sing along. You will win the competition for sure._ Kurt smiled.

Blaine pointed at Kurt. 'You will come and support us, right?'

Kurt nodded excitedly. _Of course! I wouldn't want to miss it for the world! I'll be on the front row, holding up a sign that says "GO WARBLERS!"_

'Hopefully,' Blaine smiled, 'Oh, you could be our new mascot! I need to find one of those mascot costumes.'

_DON'T YOU DARE, BLAINE! I'm not wearing one of those sweaty mascot costumes!_

'Please?' Blaine pleaded, falling to his knees in front of Kurt's feet and looking up at him with his big brown puppy eyes. How could Kurt resist that?

Kurt sighed. _Okay, fine! I'll think about it!_

'Yes!' Blaine exclaimed, doing a little victory dance in the middle of their room and making Kurt grin widely.

Honestly, Kurt would do anything for Blaine. He would wear the costume just to see the smile on Blaine's face, and he loved making Blaine smile more than anything else.

* * *

Saturday arrived and Blaine was pacing the floor, almost making Kurt seasick.

_Blaine, you will be fine._ Kurt wrote down and smiled at Blaine.

'But what if he doesn't like me, Kurt?' Blaine asked, coming to a stop in front of Kurt.

_Everyone who has ever met you likes you, silly. Stop worrying._

Blaine sighed, looking down at the floor. 'Do you like me?' he asked hesitantly.

_Of course I like you, Blaine. If you weren't going on a date with Jeremiah, I would've gone with you._

'Really?' Blaine asked.

_Definitely. Hey, could you maybe drop me off at the library?_

'Uh, sure, sure,' Blaine stuttered, 'It's on my way to the Lima Bean anyway.'

Kurt grabbed his bag and walked up to Blaine, who opened the door for him. 'After you, mister Hummel.'

Kurt smiled and walked out into the hallway. He waited for Blaine before they both made their way to Blaine's car.

The ride to the library was quiet in Blaine's black Volvo, with only the music from the radio breaking the silence between both boys. Kurt was staring out the window, watching Westerville roll by, while Blaine was tapping along to the rhythm of the song that was currently playing.

Blaine was loudly singing along to the radio by the time they slowed down in front of Lima's public library, making Kurt smile and mouth along.

'Here we are,' Blaine said, turning the volume of the radio down and watching Kurt get out of the car before continuing hesitantly, 'I'll go then. Message me when you want to go back to Dalton, okay?'

Kurt nodded before waving at Blaine and turning around towards the entrance of the library.

Blaine stared at the way Kurt swiveled his hips as he walked up the stairs to the library. He drove off when Kurt disappeared through the glass doors and made his way to the coffee shop where he and Jeremiah were going to meet. He slowly became more fidgety and angsty as he drove through Lima and he was practically shaking when he got out of his car a few minutes later.

It was around two o'clock when Blaine sat down at a table with a medium-drip in his hands. He felt butterflies in his stomach, his heart was thumping and his mind was in overdrive. He hadn't had a date in ages, and he was really looking forward to spending time with a guy.

He nervously looked around and checked his phone almost every two minutes. He watched couples walking in and out of the shop and he felt jealous when that one girl wrapped an arm around her boyfriend's waist and pecked him on the cheek. He fiddled with the edge of the tablecloth, eventually counting the squares on it too and it took him a solid twenty minutes of patiently waiting for Jeremiah before he typed out a quick text to him.

_2:23PM. To Jeremiah: Hey, I'm at the Bean… Did you forget about our date? I'm waiting for you X_

He kept thinking positively, despite the fact that he was worried Jeremiah forgot about their date, or worse, that Jeremiah decided that he didn't like him after all. Maybe Jeremiah was trying to buy a gift for Blaine and he forgot the time or maybe he was stuck in traffic and forgot his phone at home...

Time passed slowly and Blaine hopefully looked up whenever the door opened, only to avert his gaze again when he saw it wasn't Jeremiah who walked in. He sighed softly while he traced the outline of his phone, occasionally unlocking it while doing so. Soon Blaine found himself staring at the _3:00PM_ that showed on his screen. He had been waiting for Jeremiah for a whole hour now and Jeremiah hadn't even texted him to tell him he forgot or that he was going to be later. Annoyed, Blaine opened his messaging app again and texted him.

_3:01PM. To Jeremiah: Well, that was a fun date. I've waited an hour for you and now I'm sick of it, go find yourself another date._

Then Blaine sent Kurt a message since he promised he'd let Kurt know how the date was going.

_3:02PM. To Kurt: He stood me up…_

_3:02PM. From Kurt: You've been waiting for him this whole time?_

_3:02PM. To Kurt: Yeah._

_3:04PM. From Kurt: And he didn't call or message you? What an asshole… Do you want me to come over?_

_3:05PM. To Kurt: Yeah, if you don't mind of course._

_3:06PM. From Kurt: I don't mind at all. I'll be there in 10 :)_

Blaine looked around the room, seeing couples play footsie under their tables or sharing sweet kisses over their shared milkshakes.

He thought about the day he'd have all of that: a boyfriend he could kiss wherever and whenever he wanted to, a boyfriend he could talk to endlessly while they were sitting on the couch together, a boyfriend he can be crazy with and dance around the house with all day long while they laughed and kissed...

He was pulled out of his daydreams by his phone buzzing beside him. His eyes widened a little bit as he read the alarmingly short message.

_3:32PM. From Kurt: Help_

Blaine quickly gathered his things and left the coffee shop, not caring about the looks people gave him as he rushed out so suddenly. He glanced around the parking lot when he heard loud laughter and he heard someone saying: 'You're still a little baby, Hummel, accept it.'

Blaine looked in the direction where the voices came from and saw a group of people gathered in an alleyway.

'Yeah, Ricky! Tell him!' another guy yelled.

Blaine ran towards the alley, only coming to a stop when he could see Kurt in the group as well. A jock was holding his wrists in a vice-like grip, trying to keep him still while Kurt frantically tried to pull himself free from the jock's strong hold. His heart clenched painfully when Kurt's eyes briefly met his. His eyes were glimmering with unshed tears and that's what brought Blaine to action.

'Let Kurt go,' he said, as fiercely as he could for Kurt. He couldn't show Kurt that he was afraid, he needed to protect Kurt as best as he could.

The jocks laughed loudly. 'Or what? Are you going to kick our shins? You can't beat us!'

'No, but I'll call the cops on you,' Blaine threatened with a smirk but it quickly vanished when everyone turned to him and the biggest jock, Blaine assumed that was Ricky, let go of Kurt's wrists.

'Oh yeah?' Ricky took something silvery out of his pocket and flicked it open, revealing a knife. He stepped closer to Blaine, 'Are you sure about that?'

Blaine swallowed almost audibly when Ricky traced the blade along his neck, down to his collarbone, and then down to his ribs. He heard some shuffling and swearing behind Ricky and he glanced at Kurt, who was being held back by the other jocks to prevent him from protecting Blaine.

Blaine watched Kurt and tried to reassure him with just the look in his eyes. He gasped for air when Ricky suddenly jabbed the knife into his chest and he felt a burning pain in his lungs. It hurt when he tried to breathe but the excruciating pain really began when the knife was twisted before it was pulled back out. 'You deserved that,' Ricky said, smirking down at a bleeding Blaine, 'I caught you by surprise, didn't I?'

Blaine fell onto the concrete and whimpered. He could see Kurt staring at him with wide, tear-filled eyes, fear showing clearly on his face as he struggled harder against the hands holding him back.

'Relax, guys, let Hummel go. We've done our job here,' Ricky said and the moment Kurt was free, he ran towards Blaine and kneeled by his side to press a hand firmly to Blaine's bleeding chest.

'Kurt?' Blaine asked, wincing as a pang shot through his whole body.

Kurt nodded vigorously, repositioning himself so he could lay Blaine's head on his lap and still put pressure on Blaine's wound. He carded the fingers of his free hand through Blaine's hair, a tear running down his cheek. The jocks were already long gone, so it was only them now. Only they mattered right now. Blaine had been staring at him that whole time, a small smile on his face.

'I… saved you,' he said, taking a small pause in-between his words to try to take a breath, still gazing into Kurt's eyes. He reached up and rested his hand on top of Kurt's, scrunching his nose up in disgust as he felt blood, 'I'm… bleeding really… bad, am I?'

Kurt couldn't hold his tears back anymore, letting them roll freely down his cheeks. He nodded shakily as he stroked Blaine's cheek softly and watched him lean into his touch ever so slightly.

Kurt felt sick, seeing Blaine's face going paler and paler as the seconds passed and he hated it that he couldn't call out for help to save his own _best friend._

_God, what am I going to do without him? If I was just strong enough to tell him that I love him… It might be my last chance,_ Kurt thought as he saw Blaine close his eyes.

'You won't lose me...' Blaine whispered like he had read Kurt's mind. He slowly blinked his eyes open again, 'Promise… I'm strong.' He tried to chuckle but stopped himself when another pang shot through him, even more painful than the last.

_But what if I lose you? I wouldn't survive it, Blaine, so you better not die on me today. I love you, Blaine. You're my best friend and I love you, don't leave me alone._

Kurt nodded, the corners of his mouth twitching up into a small smile and Blaine's did the same right before he closed his eyes completely. Kurt sniffled and leaned down to press a kiss to Blaine's forehead, a silly little way to let Blaine know how Kurt felt about him.

And that little pressure on his forehead was the last thing Blaine remembered before everything went black.


	4. Chapter 3

Kurt was holding onto Blaine's hand as they wheeled the gurney out of the ambulance and into the hospital. Doctors rushed to them, and he barely heard anything the paramedics said because of the constant ringing in his ears.

_Stabbed… Severe blood loss…__Broken ribs… Cardiac arrest… Critical condition… Not sure he'll make it..._

'Sir?' one of the paramedics asked urgently, 'Sir, you have to let go of Mister Anderson's hand in order to let the doctors do their job.'

But Kurt was unable to let go. He needed to hold on, needed to know Blaine was going to be alright. He felt hands prying his fingers away from Blaine's and soon he was crying into one of the nurses' shoulder as they wheeled Blaine to the operation room.

The nurse rubbed Kurt's back soothingly before pulling away from him. 'Do you want to sit down, dear?'

Kurt nodded and let the nurse guide him to the chairs in the waiting room. He sat down and grabbed his notebook out of his bag. _Is Blaine going to be okay?_

Surprisingly, the nurse didn't ask any questions about the notebook and she just answered: 'Mister Anderson is a strong young man, and I'm sure they're going to fix him up right now. You just have to stay strong for him, and don't give up on him, okay? I'm sure he'll be okay.'

Kurt nodded, looking at the nurse with tears in his eyes. She grabbed his hand and squeezed it reassuringly.

'He'll be okay,' the nurse repeated, 'Do you want me to call somebody for you?'

Kurt grabbed his notebook, scribbling something down. _Maybe Blaine's parents and older brother? Blaine told me he lives in L.A. for work but I know he'd want Cooper to know, they are very close._

'Do you have their numbers?'

_No… I'm sorry._

'It's okay, sweetie, I'll look them up and notify them. I have to go back to work now, do you think you can manage it on your own?'

Kurt nodded, wiping at his eyes. He watched the nurse smile at him sympathetically before leaving. He pulled his knees up to his chest, hugging them tightly. He thought about what happened after Blaine had passed out. It all seemed so surreal: Blaine's breathing getting slower and shallower, the young woman who coincidentally passed by and noticed the puddle of blood he and Blaine were in and called the ambulance, the trip to the hospital, and now he was here in the Kindred Hospital waiting room. It all happened so fast and now he could only hope it wasn't too late.

He doesn't want to lose his friend. He doesn't want to go back to Dalton without Blaine and have to sit in his empty dorm all by himself.

He doesn't want to find his voice by himself. He needs to do that with Blaine, he needs Blaine's encouraging words to make sure he doesn't give up.

He just wants all of Blaine, honestly, Kurt realized as he closed his eyes and another tear trickled down his face.

* * *

After what seemed like ages, Kurt had dozed off while a doctor passed by him and walked up to the nurse who had guided Kurt to his seat. A few moments later, Kurt felt someone prodding at his shoulder while a gentle but authoritative voice asked: 'Mister Hummel?'

Kurt startled awake, opened his eyes, and nodded ferociously as he saw who was in front of him. He sat up straighter, mentally prepared himself for when the doctor would say "We did everything to save Mister Anderson, but I'm so very sorry for your loss, Mister Hummel," but prayed to God that he wouldn't have to hear any sort of that news.

'I'm Doctor Netkins, one of the surgeons that operated on Mister Anderson. I'm here to inform you that he just got out of surgery and is now in his room in the ICU department. He was critical when we brought him in, but we were able to stabilize him, to stop the bleeding, and to minimize the damage to his lung. He has two broken ribs that will need time to heal, but there's no permanent damage done, so he should recover fully,' the doctor explained calmly. 'Would you like to see him now?'

Kurt got up, which was enough confirmation for the doctor. 'Follow me then.'

Kurt followed Doctor Netkins through the halls and to the elevator. Everything was too bright and too white and the last time Kurt was here he watched his mother lay in one of those too bright, too white rooms. He hated this place and honestly, he wished he never had to go back here. But this was Blaine he was here for, and Blaine was going to survive. So he ignored the smell of disinfectant, blood, and just sickness in general, and stepped into the elevator with Doctor Netkins.

The elevator ride itself was quiet; Kurt fidgeted with the buttons on his blood-stained vest, and the doctor sighed every time the elevator made a "ding" sound as they went up, with soft elevator music playing in the background of it all.

'He's still sedated, but we expect that he'll wake soon,' the doctor said as the elevator doors slid open again and they walked down the hall, 'He might be a bit confused when he wakes but that's just a little side effect of the sedation. There's nothing to worry about, but I will come to check on him later, just to make sure there are no post-surgery complications. Here is Mister Anderson's room.'

The doctor pushed the door open and Kurt's breath hitched in his throat when he saw Blaine's pale figure on the bed.

The room was quiet except for the heart monitor that beeped along to Blaine's slowed-down heart rate, and Kurt wanted nothing more than to hear Blaine's cheerful laugh again, or the way his name sounded on Blaine's lips.

When Kurt finally managed to get his legs working again, he slowly made his way over to the bed and sat down in one of the chairs by Blaine's side. He held Blaine's hand and let his other hand roam through the hair that had sprung free from the hair gel, willing his tears away as he thought he saw Blaine lean into his touch ever so slightly.

'I'll leave you to it,' the doctor said, almost scaring Kurt by interrupting the silence around him and then he heard the door close quietly. Only when he knew that he and Blaine were alone did he start to cry again. Blaine looked too small, too fragile, and he just didn't look like the happy, strong Blaine he had only known for a week. It was silly, but he pressed a soft little kiss to Blaine's hand he was holding before resting his forehead against their joined hands as tears fell from his eyes.

* * *

When Blaine awoke, he felt a dull pain in his chest and it took him a while to realize that _oh yeah, they stabbed me._ He whimpered and slowly blinked his eyes open as he suddenly felt soft fingers roaming through his hair. 'K'rt,' he slurred when he saw Kurt's angelic face on his left and he winced, pain shooting through his chest, 'it hurts.'

Kurt's heart skipped a beat when Blaine said his name. He nodded and pressed the button on the right side of Blaine's bed, hoping a nurse would show up soon and then he continued to run his fingers through Blaine's half slicked back hair.

'You're here,' Blaine continued softly.

Kurt nodded, a small, sad smile on his face.

'I honestly thought I was going to die.'

Tears made their way down Kurt's cheeks as he looked down to the white blanket that was covering Blaine, and he gave Blaine's hand a little squeeze.

'Please,' Blaine then said, making Kurt look at him with wide and tear-filled eyes, 'don't cry.'

Kurt untangled his fingers from Blaine's hair and wiped at his own eyes before looking into Blaine's. They had lost a tiny bit of their shine, but they were still beautiful to gaze in in Kurt's opinion.

The door opened, and both he and Blaine looked at the small, young woman that walked into Blaine's room. She had red hair, tied into a high ponytail which made her hair look longer, and emerald green eyes that shone in the sunlight. She graciously came closer while looking down at her clipboard that contained all of Blaine's information.

'How are you feeling, Mister Anderson? Are you in a lot of pain?' she asked, finally looking up to Blaine's face.

'Just a dull pain,' Blaine answered, 'but it hurts nevertheless.'

The nurse smiled sympathetically. 'I'll take care of that right away.' She fiddled with Blaine's IV bag and pulled away when the morphine inside of it dripped a tad quicker than before. 'There you go. You're already on a pretty high dose so that's all I can give you.'

'Thank you,' Blaine said and gratefully smiled at the nurse.

'No problem. Oh, and if the drugs don't work,' she looked back down at her clipboard to write something down, 'you can always ask doctor Netkins for a stronger drug that doesn't require a high dose to work, okay?'

'I will,' Blaine smiled.

The nurse clicked her pen off and looked up at Blaine again. 'Then I'll leave you two alone again,' she turned around, walked to the door and opened it before continuing, 'I might come by to check on you later.'

Both Blaine and Kurt nodded before the nurse left the room and left Kurt and Blaine alone again.

_Feeling better?_ Kurt wrote down as soon as the door fell shut behind the nurse.

Blaine snorted, the pain in his chest already subsiding a little. 'You'll know when I start to get woozy and start talking nonsense. Then you'll know I'm perfectly fiiiiiiiiine.'

Kurt grinned and Blaine smiled at the sight before Kurt's grin faltered again. 'What's wrong?' he asked, suddenly very serious.

_I just still can't believe you did that, Blaine. They weren't even sure you'd make it._ Kurt wrote.

Blaine sighed, knowing exactly what Kurt meant with "that". 'I wanted to protect you,' he said slowly, 'and if I needed to die just to make sure you were safe then so be it. It wasn't your fault they attacked me...'

_It _is _my fault… If I defended myself 8 years ago then I wouldn't have been bullied for all those years after, I wouldn't have been attacked, then I wouldn't be mute, you didn't have to protect me and then we wouldn't be here. That's what you did, Blaine, you risked your life to save a kid that is too much of a coward to defend himself._

Blaine shook his head. 'Don't say that. You are not a coward, Kurt. You are so much stronger than any other person I know and I saw how you wanted to break free from those bullies to try and protect _me_. That takes a lot of bravery, not cowardness.'

_I was so afraid that I was going to lose you,_ Kurt wrote.

'I promised you that you wouldn't lose me,' Blaine said, putting his hand on top of Kurt's, 'and I kept that promise. Everything's going to be okay now.'

Kurt nodded and tried to stifle a yawn but failed, miserably but adorably at the same time.

'Go home, visit your parents or something,' Blaine said softly, patting Kurt's hand_,_ 'You need some sleep, it's been a long day for the both of us.'

Kurt shook his head ferociously as he looked up at Blaine.

'You don't have to stay,' Blaine tried again, 'I'll be okay, the nurses will ta-'

Kurt had put a finger on Blaine's lips to silence him. He pulled the finger away again when Blaine sighed softly, and he reached for his notebook instead.

_I don't want to leave. I want to stay here, with you. Is that okay?_

'Oh,' Blaine breathed, eyebrows raising slightly in surprise, 'Of course that's okay, Kurt.'

Kurt smiled gratefully and curled up in his seat, pulling his knees up to his chest.

_I told the nurse to call your parents and Cooper. Your parents might be on their way as we speak_ he wrote down a while later.

'I don't think so,' Blaine huffed.

_Why do you think that?_ Kurt wrote down, frowning.

'They never really cared about me, you know?' Blaine shrugged, 'I always felt like Cooper was their favorite kid.'

_I'm sure they love you as much as they love Cooper._

'They don't. I've always been the misfit, the outcast, of my family. I'm gay, therefore I'm not 'normal'. Cooper is 25, has a beautiful girlfriend and he already has a great career in L.A. since he graduated high school. Look at where I am on the other hand,' Blaine looked around the hospital room and shrugged.

_I'm sorry_ Kurt wrote down as he guiltily looked down at the ground.

'Oh, Kurt, no. I didn't mean it like that. I mean that... This place, Ohio in general, is not where I want to be. I want to go to New York, maybe land a role on Broadway, make art and help people. I want to make my parents proud by showing them what I'm made of, you know?'

Kurt nodded. _You will! You will do all of those things and you will make people proud. And if your parents aren't proud of you, then you'll still have me to lean on, okay? I will always stand by your side._

'That's... That's really, really sweet of you, Kurt,' Blaine smiled gratefully at Kurt, 'You are a really amazing friend.'

Blaine's heart skipped a beat when he saw the grin on Kurt's face. He loved that smile and he loved being the reason for it.

'You know I'll always stand by your side as well, right?'

_I know_ Kurt answered, his eyes drooping a little bit.

'Good,' Blaine said, 'Now that you know that you should sleep.'

The corners of Kurt's mouth twitched up into a smile and he nodded before closing his eyes and slowly drifting off to sleep as he dreamt about holding Blaine in his arms, protecting him from harm just like he had done for him.

Blaine watched Kurt as he slept. The way his hair fell adorably onto his forehead, his eyelashes fanned out over his cheeks and how the corners of his mouth twitched every once in a while.

_God, he looks stunning, _Blaine thought, _If I could only make him mine..._


	5. Chapter 4

'Kurt, we have to talk to the police as soon as possible,' Blaine said the following day, 'We can't let them get away with this!'

Kurt nodded as he played with the edge of Blaine's blanket. _I know_ he wrote down in his notebook.

Blaine sighed as he read Kurt's message, wincing when the movement caused his chest to hurt. 'Then what are you waiting for, Kurt?' he asked, wheezing a little.

Kurt got up from his chair and walked to the window to stare out of it. He refused to even answer Blaine's question. He just didn't see the point of going to the police when he knew Ricky's father would defend his son and use the power of money to do everything to keep his son from going to jail. He'd tried to go to the police after the first attack but he didn't even get past the threshold of the police station. Now, he's pretty sure he won't even make it to the end of the street without having panic attacks or being scared he's been followed by Ricky or one of the others.

It wasn't easy for him, this whole "defending yourself" part of life. He knew they should go to the police or even call them but he's mute, it's not like he can give them a very detailed description of what happened without writing all of it down and that would take a long time which in turn would annoy the police officers, he's sure of that. It's frustrating, not being treated like a "normal" person and Kurt just wants to avoid any looks or hushed whispers of "He's dumb, he's useless".

He let out a shaky breath and nodded, wiping at his eyes when he couldn't hold back the tears anymore. He fully turned away from Blaine and squeezed his eyes shut, hoping Blaine would leave him be for a moment.

'You know I'm right,' Blaine continued softly after a few minutes of silence, 'We need to talk to the police to stop those guys before they hurt anyone else.'

Kurt opened his eyes again and kicked the trash can in frustration, making it tumble over and spill all of its contents over the floor.

'Kurt!' Blaine exclaimed and winced again, causing Kurt to turn back to him, the frustration in his eyes gone, 'Getting angry won't help us at all.'

Kurt shrugged angrily and refused to look at Blaine. 'This isn't easy for me too, you know?' Blaine asked, making Kurt huff and look at him with one eyebrow raised as if saying "oh, really?".

'Do you know how helpless I feel seeing my best friend upset and not being able to help him?' Blaine wondered, balling his fists and slamming them into the mattress, 'All I want to do is get those bastards behind bars and help you get your voice back but I can't do that if you won't let me!'

Kurt worried his bottom lip, eyes flitting between the ground and Blaine.

'You just have to let me in, Kurt. That's all I ask,' Blaine said softly.

He watched Kurt nod and wipe at his eyes a few more times before he asked 'Come sit with me?' with pleading eyes.

Kurt hesitated and eventually walked over to his chair, stopping dead in his tracks when Blaine said 'No, I want you to come and sit here, on the bed' while patting the bed next to him. He tentatively sat down on the edge of the bed and clasped his hands together in his lap.

'I want you to be honest for a moment,' Blaine grabbed Kurt's hand when he made moves to grab his notebook, 'No, no notebook this time. You can just nod yes or no. That's all, okay?'

Kurt nodded and the feeling of having Blaine's hand holding his made his heart speed up in his chest just slightly.

'Are you afraid they will find out about it if we'll go to the police?' Blaine asked.

Kurt didn't answer, he just stared down at their joined hands.

Blaine sighed and suppressed a wince. 'Kurt, look at me,' he squeezed Kurt's hand to get his full attention and Kurt looked up, right into his eyes. 'If you want me to, I can talk to the police alone. I can tell them everything that happened to you. I can tell them about your muteness, make them understand why you can't tell them yourself. Would you like that?'

Blaine watched how Kurt's bottom lip started trembling and he smiled when Kurt shakily nodded. Kurt carefully wrapped his arms around Blaine's shoulders and hugged him, making sure their chests weren't touching so he wouldn't hurt him.

Kurt pulled away from Blaine after a few moments and their eyes met; beautiful blue staring into warm hazel and it's when Kurt's eyes drifted down to glance at his lips, Blaine dared to do the same.

'If that was your way of saying thank you, I wouldn't mind it if you did that more often,' Blaine chuckled nervously, groaning a little when pain shot through his chest and tearing his gaze away from Kurt's lips.

He reached up and stroked Kurt's cheek making Kurt gasp and his eyes widen, looking up into Blaine's eyes in surprise. 'Those bullies won't hurt you anymore, Kurt, I promise,' he whispered, 'I won't let them.'

Kurt's eyes fluttered closed and Blaine leaned in as far as his broken ribs would allow and their lips met. Blaine never thought Kurt's lips would feel so soft and warm against his own and he sighed happily into the kiss, suppressing a wince at the pain and smiling against Kurt's lips instead.

It felt like the world had stopped spinning around them and only the two of them existed. Everything had slowed down, except for their hearts that were thumping in their chests.

Blaine made a soft noise of protest when Kurt suddenly pulled away from him, gasping for air, and got off the bed so quickly he nearly tripped over his own feet. He looked bewildered and scared when he looked at him and Blaine felt his stomach turn as he realized what he did. He opened his mouth to say something when Kurt almost sprinted away from him and disappeared into the adjoined bathroom, slamming the door shut behind him.

Kurt sagged against the door as soon as it fell shut behind him and took deep breaths to calm himself, quickly realizing that it didn't help at all.

He just needed a moment to calm down and recompose himself, that's all. He buried his face in his hands and replayed what had just happened over and over in his head.

Blaine had kissed him even though Kurt didn't know if it was because he loved him or if it was to just help him feel better but it had felt so right and so wrong at the same time and he had wanted nothing more than give in, kiss Blaine back but he just couldn't…

He had gotten so terrified all of a sudden.

He loved Blaine but he knew it would never last. He would hurt him, disappoint him and eventually, he would lose him forever.

_If I haven't lost him already,_ he thought, fingertips ghosting over his still tingling lips

He needed to go back out there and apologize. He ran his hands over his face and through his hair, looking at the tile floor while trying to figure out what he was supposed to do now.

* * *

Blaine seemed to be asleep when Kurt returned from the bathroom more than twenty minutes later but he peeked an eye open to see him walking back into the room before closing it again. His head was turned away from the side of the bed where Kurt always sat by and Kurt, getting more nervous and fidgety as the seconds ticked by, walked over to the chair and sat down.

As he grabbed his notebook to write an apology to Blaine, he noticed something at the end of the book. It was a page with a dog-ear and Kurt, his curiosity spiked, flipped over to it and saw that most of the page had been written on, in Blaine's handwriting. He started reading and soon Kurt looked back up at Blaine, who still refused to look at him.

**_Kurt,_**

**_what I did was wrong and I'm sorry._**

**_While we were in that alley you ran your hand through my hair and kissed my forehead and I thought they were little acts of love but now I realize that you were just comforting me and being my best friend. You were just trying to stay strong for the both of us while all I could think of was kissing you and holding you in my arms. But now I can never have that after what I did to you… You didn't want me to kiss you and when I saw you walk away from me, something… broke inside of me._**

**_Honestly, I've never felt the way I've felt around you, Kurt. You are beautiful, witty and smart and anything but a coward or a loser. I like everything about you, every single little flaw you think you have included._**

**_If you're reading this, know that I love you. If you're not reading this, I understand why..._**

**_I hope you can forgive me someday._**

**_Blaine_**

Kurt had tears running down his cheeks by the end of Blaine's letter and he quickly wiped them away before he got up and walked over to the other side of the bed, notebook and pen in hand.

Blaine thought he didn't want to be kissed while it was _all _Kurt ever wanted. Blaine was insecure about himself while he's always so sure and confident. He thought he had hurt Kurt and ruined their friendship while Kurt wanted nothing more than do _be_ with Blaine.

Blaine looked up at Kurt when he approached and his eyes widened a little when he saw Kurt's wet cheeks. 'Kurt?' he quietly asked as Kurt squatted down to be more on eye-level with him.

Kurt put his notebook on the mattress next to Blaine and opened it on the page he had written on, clicking his pen on while he did so.

_I love you too, Blaine Anderson!_ he wrote down and turned the notebook around so Blaine could read what he had written.

'You- You love me?' Blaine stuttered and when Kurt nodded with a smile he reached out and brushed his fingertips against Kurt's cheek, wiping some of the fresh tears away and smiling when Kurt leaned into his touch.

Kurt let out a soft sigh and started writing something down again. _I think I've always loved you. Ever since we met, I felt different… I don't really know what it was but it was definitely different from how I normally feel around people._

Blaine looked a little lost at this. 'I- I should've- Kurt, why didn't you say something?'

_I didn't think you'd love me back because of… who I am. And I'll admit that I was jealous when you told me you were going out with Jeremiah but I knew you liked him so I didn't say anything other than the "if he doesn't date you, I will" comment._

'You-,' Blaine sighed, 'I didn't think you really meant that. If I had known...'

The corners of Kurt's mouth twitched up into a smile. _It's okay._

'I will always love you back, Kurt. No matter what or who you are,' Blaine breathed and Kurt reached up to run a hand through his hair, the now familiar gesture making him suck in a breath.

Kurt rose to his feet, fingers still curled around some strands of Blaine's hair before he let his hand travel down until it rested on the back of Blaine's neck. He leaned in to press his lips softly against Blaine's, whose hand came up to rest on Kurt's side.

The kiss was sort of intimate, sweet and just what they wanted it to be: perfect.

Blaine's hand flexed when one of Kurt's hands cupped his face, a breathy moan directly followed by a whimper escaping his lips.

Kurt pulled away immediately, a concerned look on his face and the hand that wasn't cupping Blaine's face fluttering above Blaine's chest, wanting to soothe the pain but not knowing how.

'It's okay,' Blaine said, noticing Kurt's inner struggle and grabbing Kurt's hand, intertwining their fingers, 'I'm fine, don't worry.'

Kurt nodded with a small smile around his lips and started rubbing little circles on Blaine's hand with his thumb as he sat down besides Blaine.

'You're my boyfriend now,' Blaine smiled, wiggling the fingers that were intertwined with Kurt's.

The small smile that was on Kurt's face before spread into a shit-eating grin when he nodded excitedly, making Blaine grin widely as well.

They stared at each other for a long time, grinning and touching and just allowing themselves to really look. Little details that they hadn't noticed before, like the way Blaine's eyes squint when he laughs or the way Kurt blushes whenever Blaine touches him, coming to light and making them fall for each other even more.

_That's why you saved me_ Kurt wrote down a while later, _Because you love me._

'I don't really know,' Blaine replied, frowning a little, 'I was drawn to you from the start, more than I cared to admit, actually, and I knew I really cared about you but I thought it was just because we were roommates. It was only until I saw you looking so vulnerable and helpless that I understood just how strong my feelings for you were.'

Kurt wrapped his arms around Blaine's shoulders again, nuzzling his face in the crook of Blaine's neck before pressing a kiss to the soft skin there.

Blaine smiled, turning his head to kiss Kurt's temple. 'Lay down with me?' he murmured and he could feel Kurt smile against his skin.

Kurt pulled back and turned, hoisting his legs up until they were on the mattress next to Blaine's. He curled up into his boyfriend's side, gently resting his head on Blaine's shoulder and wrapping an arm around Blaine's waist. He strained his ears, listening if Blaine let out any sound of discomfort or pain and when Blaine stayed quiet, Kurt nuzzled his face in his neck again and closed his eyes.


	6. Chapter 5

Kurt's hands are shaking as he sits in the back of the cab on his way to his father's house. He doesn't know if Dalton notified his dad during the weekend and he honestly doesn't care about that right now.

Dalton probably expected Kurt to be back in class right now but he just can't. He can't focus on anything right now while Blaine's still in the hospital. _At least Cooper's at the hospital and Blaine isn't alone,_ he thinks.

He smiles as he recognizes the familiar neighborhood. He likes Dalton and Westerville but honestly, he misses home.

The cab comes to a stop in front of his father's house and Kurt hands the driver a twenty dollar bill before getting out of the car. He walks up to the front door of the house and he's about to knock when the door swings open, revealing a frantic looking Burt.

'Kurt?' he asks, halfway through putting his jacket on, 'I'm glad to see you, buddy. Are you okay?'

Kurt nods, albeit a little shakily as he frowns at what his father is doing.

'Dalton called,' Burt explains, shrugging his jacket off again, 'They said you weren't at school and that your roommate is in the hospital right now after being attacked by someone. God, I thought you were laying in a hospital bed next to that guy.'

Kurt stays quiet, thinking about how he did lay in a hospital bed last night. Only it wasn't next to "that guy" but _with_ "that guy".

Burt sighs, rubbing his bald head. 'Were you there when it happened?'

When his father points to his shirt, Kurt realizes he hasn't changed out of his clothes yet since Saturday. There's dried blood splattered on it and he comes to the realization there's probably even more on the pair of black skinny jeans he's wearing right now from when he held Blaine in the alleyway. Somehow, that thought makes him relive the whole situation again; the helplessness he felt when Blaine fell to the ground, the amount of blood pooling around them, the sound of the heart monitor flatlining…

'-urt!' It takes Kurt a while to realize his father is talking to him. Burt's shaking him gently by the shoulder, trying to catch his attention. When Kurt's watery eyes focus in on him, Burt stays quiet for a moment to allow Kurt to gather his thoughts. 'You _were _there, weren't you?'

Kurt nods and starts ruffling through his bag in search for his notebook. His hand stills when it reaches the bottom of the bag, fingers curling around nothing but air. He forgot his notebook at the hospital. He looks back up at his father, a helpless expression on his face.

'I have a notepad lying around here somewhere,' Burt says, realizing what Kurt was desperately trying to ask for, 'Come on, let's go inside.'

Kurt closes the door behind him as his father goes off to search for a notepad. Standing here, in his blood-covered clothes, makes him feel the same way he did on that one unfortunate day. He stares at the stairs leading up to his bedroom, a shiver running down his spine as he still remembers every little detail of the attack and its aftermath. That and the events of the past few days are enough to make tears spring into his eyes. He startles when a hand comes to rest on his shoulder, only just realizing his father was standing beside him.

'Why don't you go take a shower upstairs? You can change out of those clothes and freshen up, it'll do you good and we can talk when you're done,' Burt says, handing Kurt the notepad.

_Yeah, that seems like a good idea…_ Kurt writes down and shows the message to his dad.

Burt nods. 'Well, you know the way to your bathroom and even though you took half your wardrobe with you, there are still enough clothes left to dress an army with so go ahead. Take all the time you need, okay?'

Kurt nods and smiles gratefully at his dad. He moves past his dad and up the stairs towards his bedroom. As soon as his bedroom door falls shut behind him, Kurt lets out a deep and shuddering breath.

He gathers a pair of skinny jeans, a purple button-down, a pair of boxers and socks before locking himself in his bathroom.

He takes off his clothes and when he's done, he gasps at his reflection in the mirror. The blood that had seeped through the fabric of his clothes, had left red-brown spots on his skin.

His fingers brush over the spots and he vows to himself that he will scrub as long and as hard as he needs to to get rid of them.

He turns the water on and waits a few seconds before stepping under the hot stream. The water washes some of the blood away and soon, red water is going down the drain.

He grabs his loofah and begins to scrub the rest of the blood away. Tears are burning in his eyes as he scrubs and scrubs, even after all the blood has been washed away.

He needs the memories to wash away as well.

Images of a bloodied Blaine invade his mind and it's enough to make Kurt sag against the cold tile wall. Soon he's crying and he finds himself sitting on the floor, still scrubbing at the spots where the blood used to be.

He knows that it's useless but he can't stop.

He tries to steady his breathing and it takes him a few minutes but eventually, Kurt's standing underneath the stream of warm water again. He pours some shampoo into his hands and begins to wash his hair as he closes his eyes, relaxing a little as his fingers gently massage his scalp.

By the time he grabs his loofah again and almost douses it in vanilla-scented body wash, he's calmed down and his skin is rubbed raw.

* * *

'So, if I understand this correctly, you fell in love with a mute boy and when a gang cornered him, you just thought it was a good idea to interfere in the matter?' Cooper asks, sitting down on the edge of Blaine's bed. He continues when Blaine nods. 'Were you out of your mind, Blaine? You could've gotten yourself killed.'

'I don't care,' Blaine replies coldly.

Cooper sighs. 'Blaine, you barely know him… I don't understand how you can fall in love with this guy so quickly.'

Blaine looks up at Cooper. 'It just happened, okay? Kurt and I both tried to put our feelings aside, we really tried.'

'Now, don't shoot me, but I think you are rushing into things,' Cooper comments after letting out a sigh.

Blaine smiles at his brother's concern. 'Coop, if any of us thought we were moving too fast, we would've told each other so.'

'I'm just trying to look out for you, that's all,' Cooper replies, 'I wouldn't want your heart to get broken.'

'That won't happen, I'm sure of that,' Blaine assures with a smile.

Cooper shrugs and smiles back at Blaine. 'Whatever you say, Squint.' He looks around the room and soon his eyes focus in on Kurt's notebook on the table by the window. 'Is that Kurt's notebook?'

Blaine looks over at the blue notebook. 'Yes, Kurt was kind of all over the place this morning and forgot it, why?' he asks as Cooper stands up and walks over to the table.

'I want to leave him a little message,' Cooper answers, 'It's not because I haven't seen him today that I can't tell him something.'

'I don't think he'll like it if you snoop through his things,' Blaine says as Cooper flips it open in order to find a blank page.

Cooper looks up at Blaine as he flips. 'Relax, Squint, I'm not going to read anything he's written. Ah, here's a blank one!'

Blaine sighs when Cooper begins to write and lets his head fall back into the pillow and he turns his head to look at his brother. 'Please don't embarrass me in front of Kurt, okay? That's all I ask.'

Cooper gasps dramatically and stops writing. 'What kind of brother do you think I am?' he asks, a little offended.

'Exactly the kind of brother that would embarrass me,' Blaine replies immediately and chuckles when Cooper sticks his tongue out.

* * *

It's late in the afternoon when Kurt knocks on the door to Blaine's room. He waits but there's no reply from the other side so Kurt decides to open the door and peek inside. He smiles when he sees Blaine peacefully asleep on the bed, his head turned towards the door and Kurt likes to think that Blaine must have been waiting for him to come back. He tears his eyes off of Blaine for a moment and looks around the room. It's quiet so Cooper must have already left and Kurt wonders what has been said while he was gone.

He sees his notebook on the table and frowns when he notices that it's flipped open and written in in a different handwriting than his or Blaine's.

_**Dear Kurt,**_

_**I know we have never met before but I want to tell you how sorry I am for what has happened. Blaine told me about the attack and I cannot imagine what you must have been going through. I just want to ask you one thing: take good care of my brother, will you? He may not always show it but he needs help from time to time, someone who is there for him when he needs it the most and since you haven't left his side ever since he was brought into the hospital, I can tell that you are that someone. **_

_**I promise I will check up on the both of you again soon.**_

_**Take care,  
Cooper Anderson**_

Kurt smiles at the message and takes his notebook with him as he walks to Blaine's bed and sits down on the edge. He runs his fingers through Blaine's hair, causing Blaine to stir awake with a small moan. When his eyes open and focus in on Kurt, he instantly begins to smile.

'Hey,' he says and it's already enough to make Kurt's heart swell in his chest. He leans into Kurt's touch and says, 'You look beautiful.'

A blush appears on Kurt's cheeks and he bites his lip, shyly looking away from Blaine. _How did everything go with Cooper? Did you tell him about your parents not checking up on you?_ he writes down.

Blaine reads the message and sighs. 'I did,' he answers, 'Apparently they're on this business trip they "forgot" to tell me about. Cooper already knew about the trip for weeks and he thought I knew too. He said he was going to say something about it as soon as he heard from them.'

Kurt sees Blaine's expression sadden so he takes Blaine's hand and gives it a small squeeze, making the corners of his mouth twitch up for a second.

'Is it weird that one part of me doesn't give a damn about them anymore?' Blaine asks when Kurt begins to rub the pad of his thumb over the back of his hand, 'It's almost like I don't want to see them anymore, ever. But enough about them, how was your father?'

_He was very relieved to see me. Dalton called him and told him that my roommate got attacked and that they didn't know where I was. He was about to come to the hospital to see if I was here. It was weird to be back there. All the memories from that night came back to me and the first thing I did was shower because I had to get all that blood off of me… I told him we got attacked by some guys we couldn't see the faces off because I don't want him to go search for Ricky and the others. _

'Did you tell him about the first attack?' Blaine asks after reading.

Kurt shakes his head in response and plays with the tip of his pen.

'Too difficult?'

_Yeah, I just can't do it yet…_

Blaine smiles sympathetically and reaches out rub Kurt's arm. 'Come here,' he says and pats the spot next to him on the bed.

Kurt is happy to oblige and lays his notebook on the chair next to the bed before scooting over to join Blaine. He almost melts when Blaine wraps an arm around his shoulders and pulls him closer to him. Blaine sighs happily when they're completely settled with Kurt's head on his shoulder and their legs intertwined. He looks up at the ceiling and absentmindedly rubs Kurt's back, thinking about how fast everything has changed. Last week he knew the boy in his arms for a day or two and now they're boyfriends.

Strangers, classmates, roommates, friends, best friends, boyfriends and all those stages were passed in a span of about seven days.

_Now, don't shoot me, but I think you are rushing into things._

_I think you are rushing into things_

_Rushing into things_

_Rushing…_

_Are we really moving too fast?_

Blaine's mind is like a whirlwind, Cooper's words are repeated over and over and the more he hears them, the more he starts to believe them.

He hasn't noticed he has stopped rubbing Kurt's back until Kurt starts to sit up a little. He frowns at Blaine in concern and leans over to grab his notebook. _You're so quiet all of a sudden… Everything okay?_ he writes down.

'Do you think we're moving too fast? Cooper thinks we are and the more I think about it, the more I start to think the same thing…' Blaine replies.

Kurt nods before he begins to write again. _My dad told me the same thing, to be honest. If you want, we could slow down. It's not like we are already exclusive, we could easily take a step back and just be best friends for a little while longer but I don't really think we are moving too fast. I like you, you like me, we've been secretly thinking about being together… It's better to move fast and take the chance instead of going slow and missing maybe the best thing in your life, that's what I think. _

Blaine chuckles and smiles up at Kurt. 'Seize the moment.'

_Seize the moment._ Kurt smiles and puts the notebook aside before cupping Blaine's face and kissing him gently.


End file.
